So maybe you don’t love giving head because of the terrible recipients you have had to deal with. Well, this could be true. It can take just one bad experience to put blow jobs on your shit list. Honestly, I think we’ve all had them, and I REALLY enjoying hearing those horror stories! Guys read up on what NOT to do when you get head, and ladies, enjoy knowing that it’s likely not just you that can’t give a good 3 minute blow job, but rather you have had some pretty bad conditions to deal with.
Here is one woman’s tale on a memorable bad recipient!
I had known this particular gentleman for quite some time, we were friends in the same circle. There was definitely an attraction there – him attracted to me, me curious about his choice of growing out a long blonde hair-do. So for the story’s sake, let call him Michael Bolton. Bolton and I had been friends and he definitely wanted to try to be a bit more and one house part later, he got the best of my drunkenness and Michael and I had our moment. I think he may have known that I gave a decent blow job because I had dated his friend a few years earlier, but I had no idea about what a bad recipient he was.
So pretty much we made out fooled around a bit and then I worked my way down to his junk. I of course played with the twins and then eventually went to town on his unit as I normally would. He was a clean cut guy, and clean in general so no complaints there. However, even after giving him some slack and considering he could potentially be suffering from Whiskey Dick, 10 minutes later I was just plain pissed. What. The. Hell. Why the heck wasn’t he exploding with excitement and pleasure from my pretty decent skills. Had I lost my touch? Does Michael Bolton think we are going to have sex and he’s saving his load? No – we discussed that immediately, he knows I’d never.
Hmmm… so like any angry, sore jawed woman would do, I ask, “What the hell is taking you so long!?” And here it was. The worst answer I could have ever imagined coming from a 20-something college educated man, that should be well versed in blow jobs. “Oh, I thought it was a good thing to not come right away.
What? What are you, 8? Not a good thing to come right away? I’m giving you a blow job, not sex. The sad part is he was completely serious and wasn’t just trying to make it last longer for his greedy pleasure. He really thought he was being a strong sexual beast that can go for hours! Mother Fucker!
I grabbed my purse – out the door – got in my car – drove to Jack in the Box – then went the hell home.
Awesome. Love the story! Seriously, what man of that age thinks you’re supposed to show off your stamina during a blow job?! For being such an idiot, he was left with blue balls I’m sure!
So men, the lesson here is, don’t hold back your load while getting head! It’s not only rude, but it will seriously ruin your chances of getting head any time in the near future. If you were an easy blow and you cooperated and came under 5 minutes, you’re most likely not going to hurt your gal’s jaw and she will be more willing to blow you again soon since it wasn’t such a painful task. And it boosts her ego if she can get you to come quickly and it will make her want to exercise her skills more often!
There are of course plenty of other things that men are doing wrong when receiving head. A short list of things not to do while giving head are:
* pushing her head down forcefully while she bobs you
* skull fucking her (jabbing your weenie down her throat)
* having a wild bush in your pants
* being sweaty and stinky and dirty in your crotchal region
There are many more Head Horror Stories and we want to hear them! Please contact us via our webpage or Facebook page with your story and we’ll share it with our readers. Please, keep it inappropriate, we like that.